As an author, host, columnist, TV/WEB/Radio speaker, entrepreneur, and a new mom, I can definitely relate to the term mompreneur. I have a unique experience to share with tons of tips and tricks I’ve learned from traveling across the country while pregnant, and traveling with an infant. These upcoming blogs, videos/vlogs, and excerpts are things I wish I’d known or at least could have warned myself about before having Cora. I’ll refer to the pre-pregnant me as “BC Genese” (before-Cora-Genese). I’ll also divulge the juicy adventures stories my brand new daughter, Cora, and my incredible husband, Eric have been having!
Over and over, I was asked these top ten questions while I was pregnant. Some of them made me happy, some made me sad. Can you guess which?
Top three questions asked during my first trimester:
When are you due?
This was an easy one. I was due on October 6th at first, and as my pregnancy went along my due date changed to October 5th. I liked this question because it was neutral and easy to answer and totally comfortable.
Do you know if you’re having a boy or girl?
I didn’t mind this question as we knew we were having a girl and we loved that fact. We wanted a girl all along so finding out the sex of our baby was wonderful. We didn’t want to keep the sex of the baby a surprise because we definitely wanted to be able to plan and buy things that were gender specific ahead of time.
Any names picked out?
This question got a little tricky because although we did have Cora’s name picked out ahead of time, we didn’t want to reveal the name. This was our choice to avoid any commentary that may come from people in your life that forget to be tactful. People often make sour faces or just flat out tell you they hate certain names you’ve picked out. In sensitive matter such as this, we wanted to avoid all that and just keep the name we picked a secret. The difficult thing was when the same people would push us and pressure us to reveal our name choice. People could be down right rude about pressuring us to tell them. It got so bad in fact, that it was easier to just fib and say we didn’t have a name picked out so that people would leave us alone. But then you have the really audacious people that will try to pick a name out for you.
Looking back, I wish I could tell the Before-Cora-Genese to just tell people, “We have a name, we are not going to tell anyone, and we’d prefer if you’d respect that decision.”
Top three questions asked during my second trimester:
Do you have any cravings?
Great question. Easy conversation piece and fun to talk about food. Cravings weren’t an issue for me, it was more food aversions. I couldn’t eat certain foods like Vietnamese or any kind of raw veggies. For some reason these foods made me feel nauseous. The foods that helped me feel satiated were usually lots of protein like various meats, lots of cooked veggies such as spinach, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, sweet peppers, and various grains and potatoes, etc. I never had the weird cravings you hear about like pickles and ice cream and I never had to ask Eric to run out at midnight for a certain food. Not once.
Is your morning sickness gone?
I had severe morning sickness the first three months of my pregnancy, but it wasn’t just in the morning. Nausea would hit me at any point of the day, usually three to four times a day. Eating heavy foods really helped such as waffles, hot cereals like oatmeal, and turkey burgers. This question was fine because it was just communicating how I was feeling in a neutral and caring way.
Can you feel the baby kicking?
It was an awesome moment to feel Cora move during my second trimester. It was such a great conversation piece with friends and family as well. And it was a great way to connect with them, too. I welcomed friends and family who were interested in feeling Cora move to touch my belly and feel her kick. It was awesome and didn’t make me uncomfortable at all. In fact, I would have told the before-Cora-Genese to offer feeling Cora move to more friends and family MORE often. I loved it. And I loved this question.
Top four questions asked during my third trimester:
How’s your body feeling?
My third trimester wasn’t too difficult. I was still traveling for my job until I was almost eight months pregnant. As I reached my eight and a half to ninth month though, it became really difficult to walk long distances, workout, sleep, etc. So, I do remember getting easily exhausted. I didn’t mind being asked this question. Especially, if the person asking seemed really genuine and concerned. I also really liked that people were impressed that I was still traveling across the country while pregnant. Even though it was very difficult on me and my body to keep working as hard as I did during pregnancy, it was really nice to have my efforts recognized and appreciated. Great question!
Ready to get that baby out of there?
I didn’t really like this question. For some reason it made me feel like the person asking was diminishing pregnancy. As if pregnancy was so horrible that I wanted to get the baby out of me as soon as possible. I didn’t feel that way at all, even at the very end of my pregnancy. I wanted Cora to take all the time she needed to develop and come out when she was ready. I wish I could tell the before-Cora-Genese to tell people, “I’m fine waiting as long as Cora needs me to.” I’d avoid this question, or at least I’d hope people don’t use the tone of voice that makes the last part of pregnancy sound horrendous.
Are you getting nervous about labor and delivery?
Thinking about labor and delivery definitely made me feel nervous. I wondered if I would do okay, how I would handle the pain of labor and delivery, but thankfully I relied on my husband to reassure me and point out all the reasons we were ready and all the reasons why I was going to do well and be okay! In the right context, this question was fine. But if the person asking goes into a diatribe about how horrible labor and delivery is (yes, this happened to me), it would get really uncomfortable.
Picture this: This is my first pregnancy, I am already nervous as it is, and a woman literally goes into how she wanted to die during pregnancy because the pain was so severe. This is not something I wanted or needed to hear. It just made my nerves spiral out of control, but thankfully, Eric was there to reassure me. Eric also asked those people to refrain from such graphic and overly detailed labor and delivery horror stories.
How long do you have left?
When you get to be nine months pregnant, unfortunately, people can be a bit rude about asking when you are due. Comments like, “Are you due any second?” “You look huge!” “That baby is about to burst out any second, am I right?” are really unnecessary and made me feel badly. Strangers would even comment to each other around me within ear shot saying things such as, “She looks like she’s going to have that baby right here! Oh my god, she is very pregnant!” These questions and comments sucked. They were so impolite and unnecessary.
Of course, if asked in a nice way, this question is fine and wonderful. I could talk openly about being due soon and how excited I was. If the person was polite they would just share in the excitement with me. With the right tone and respect, any question while pregnant can probably be fine and welcomed.
Just keep in mind that a pregnant woman’s body is working harder than a non-pregnant woman who is rock-climbing. My hope is that more people remember that when a mommy-to-be is around.
Genese Davis is an American author, host, columnist, and media personality. She is the author of The Holder’s Dominion, a next-generation thriller heralded as a breakthrough novel by Publishers Weekly. Her writing expertise expands across various genres including thriller, fantasy, gamer-lit, and new adult, as well as screenplay, playwriting, and video game lore. Davis is an in-demand host, speaker, and moderator for TV, radio, web-series, conventions, academic fairs, publishing workshops, and literary and entertainment expos. Davis is a featured columnist at MMORPG.com, and she is the founder of The Gamer In You. She was awarded the iGR Woman of the Year for her outstanding efforts in debunking stereotypes and for bringing the video game industry the first new adult, gaming-thriller, The Holder’s Dominion.
Davis is a thought-leader in video game culture and its social development. Through her passion for the art community, she demonstrates how team-based video games like MMORPGs affect our lives and the new place video games have in fiction and other forms of media.